Dude, I can’t believe you’re eating a salad

Tired. Brain dead. Blah.

As my good buddy Mark and I sat down to watch President Obama’s State of the Union Address at the Clinton Street Pub, I felt myself stumbling over words. My speech was inarticulate. I couldn’t always say what I wanted to say as fast as I wanted to say it. I had nothing on President Obama.

“I feel exhausted tonight,” I told Mark. “It’s weird, because all last week I felt fucking fantastic.”

“And you’re not having a beer?” Mark asked. “That’s weird, too.”

Mark and I like to see movies at the small independent theaters around Portland — the kind of places where you can watch the movie with a piece of pizza, or a glass of beer. Places like the Bagdad, Laurelhurst or Hollywood Theatre.

Tonight’s movie was going to be “Lemmy” at the Clinton Street Theater, and our usual routine is to have dinner and maybe bring a pitcher into the screening room, or in my case (especially recently) a glass of wine.

“Lemmy” is the story of Lemmy Kilmister, the whiskey-drinking, speed-taking, 60-some-year-old frontman of the legendary band Motorhead. It was kind of ironic, I thought, that I’d be watching this documentary without a buzz. This is the way our mid-week movie excursions are going to be for the next nine weeks (and maybe forever), I told Mark.

I’m changing my lifestyle. It’s not that I can’t ever have a drink on a social occasion with friends, it’s just that I’m going to try to limit those occasions to weekends. Besides, it’s been reported that two glasses a wine a day is actually healthy for your heart. I’d rather save them up and have 14 on Friday.

All kidding aside, I want to lose weight and feel better about myself. I’m so frustrated with how I look that I get discouraged every time I see myself tagged in a picture on Facebook. The small sacrifices are worth the payoff. I can do dinner and a movie on Tuesday without the glass of wine, I told Mark.

The bartender brought me my dinner: chicken salad with small sides of pecans and potato salad. Mark decided just to stick with beer.

“I feel like I might be brain dead because I’m not getting enough carbs,” I told Mark, pointing to the potato salad I’d specifically added to the meal. “But I wonder if the mayonnaise on that jives with my diet?”

Mark looked perplexed.

“Dude,” he said, “I can’t believe you’re eating a salad.”

Food Journal:
Breakfast: 2 scrambled eggs wrapped in a whole wheat tortilla, small handful of almonds
Snack: Crappy protein drink, a string cheese and tuna salad
Lunch: Marinated chicken wrap with veggies in whole wheat tortilla, brown rice salad
Dinner (4 hours after lunch): Chicken salad, side of pecans, side of potato salad
Snack: 4 little sushi rolls (salmon, veggies and rice)

Exercise: 22 minutes of interval training on a treadmill